A certain person with a certain shopping addiction...

Here I am, sitting at my computer debating whether or not I should go shopping. I am already ready to go, my hair is done, outfit complete(except for the shoes which have dissapeared somewhere in the vicinity of my armoire due to the fact that i have about three weeks of clean clothes piled all over my room) plans all made, but I keep trying to talk myself into it( i know that it is a losing battle as i have just made up my mind to go as soon as i finish this post because having weighed the pro's against the all so miserable cons...*cough*devil=cons*...well, the pro's simply sound better)

anyway, i have come to an almost certain conclusion that i, yes, i who have previously despised going shopping and would most likely would have rather had titanium splinters shoved under her fingernails than venture over the threshold of any clothing store, may possibly have a shopping addiction.....yep, there it is, i have just looked up the definition of addiction and it fits me to a tee when it comes to shopping...here i will post it here son any of you who are wondering whether or not you may be suffering from the same addiction can move a step further on the journey to self actualization....

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

yes, there i am, see that bottom line??? the severe trauma, that is me, when i have not been shopping i tend to wander around aimlessy, with a confused expression on my face( I know about the confused expression because i have looked in the mirror during these withdrawls.)

shopping is actual wonderful therapy, just ask cher in clueless, i am sure that she

(Alicia Silverstone in Cluless, a definite classic)

will expound the wonderfully theraputic results that can be received by the simple swipe of ones debit(or in her case daddy's credit) card. oh the sweet release, knowing that even if your world is falling apart, there will always be a place to go buy something, anything, even if it is something as everyday as an endive.

shopping, i am going, i'll be back later, target is my first stop(of course) maybe i will see you there....oh, looks like hannah is going, i'll have another hour to talk myself out of going...

A Toilet Tale (don't worry, it's not yucky)

The following story is a post to my aunt after she found some lovely roots growing from under her toilet, I now dedicate it to you Heidi...



one time about ten years ago i was cleaning the toilet and there was this funny reddish brown thing coming out of one of the little water holes (not being a plumber i have no clue what those holes are called so humor me) i kind of screamed because i was sure that there was some sort of demon-sewer snake trying to get into my toilet ( i had unfortunately been traumatized in 1st grade(ironically mrs. wurlitzer's class) when some boys told me that there was a huge snake that liked to slither up into the girls bathroom on the playground and would then proceed to eat the 1st grade girls) so, despite me telling my self this was not possible, and even if it were(i now know that it is possible for critters to enter your house through pipes) that it would never happen to me, my over-active imagination kept me a great distance from said toilet) rabbit trails....

anyway after watching it for a very long moment to be sure that creature from the deep was not moving i poked it with the toilet brush, it didn't move... this is where I thought that perhaps it was very convincingly playing dead, so i went in search of some rubber gloves...after arming myself with said gloves, i reached into the toilet, drew back, reached again, drew back, armed myself with the toilet brush and reached finally all the way in, touched the "creature of my torment" and discovered that it was hard and cold. Now, the logical part of my brain told me that it was not the dreaded creature, but just some stick that had come through the pipes, but my imagination had a worse explination, that perhaps a piece of a glacier had broken off and some how gotten into our pipes and deposited some sort of prehistoric snake-worm-thing. after deliberating for a few minutes i decided that someone would have to brave the snake-worm-thing and since both mom and dad have never been big on killing creepy crawlies it was up to me

i wiggled that thing back and forth and it sure was sturdy. finally after mintues of yanking and pulling I succeeded in pulling out the "creature" only to find that it was not a creature at all but a rusty old nail. I have no clue how the nail got in there, it hadn't been in the tank because i had investigated that thing thoroughly when we moved in. anyway, mom told me about the roots and they reminded me of that. this is a true story!! makes me wonder what else is in our water lines that we don't know about. hopefully i never come across a basilisk, that would be really scary since i do not know any pheonix's. hope that you enjoyed this. it made laugh while i was writing it.

Things a Girl Does Not Enjoy...

This list is in no way shape or form fictional, these are real-life experiences of...well...me...

Things a Girl(or person) does not enjoy....

*Being invited to "Castles" by creepy old men.

*Being told by the smelly old dishwasher repairman that they need a new wife and you look like a prime specimen.

*Having "I Will Always Love You" played for them while working.

*Being told "Hmm...your dad must have his hands full with you for a daughter!"

This list could go on and on, but I think that I will stop here.

If any boys are reading this I highly recommend they never say anything like this to a person of the female sex, I can almost guarantee that they will not get a positive reaction.