A Toilet Tale (don't worry, it's not yucky)

The following story is a post to my aunt after she found some lovely roots growing from under her toilet, I now dedicate it to you Heidi...



one time about ten years ago i was cleaning the toilet and there was this funny reddish brown thing coming out of one of the little water holes (not being a plumber i have no clue what those holes are called so humor me) i kind of screamed because i was sure that there was some sort of demon-sewer snake trying to get into my toilet ( i had unfortunately been traumatized in 1st grade(ironically mrs. wurlitzer's class) when some boys told me that there was a huge snake that liked to slither up into the girls bathroom on the playground and would then proceed to eat the 1st grade girls) so, despite me telling my self this was not possible, and even if it were(i now know that it is possible for critters to enter your house through pipes) that it would never happen to me, my over-active imagination kept me a great distance from said toilet) rabbit trails....

anyway after watching it for a very long moment to be sure that creature from the deep was not moving i poked it with the toilet brush, it didn't move... this is where I thought that perhaps it was very convincingly playing dead, so i went in search of some rubber gloves...after arming myself with said gloves, i reached into the toilet, drew back, reached again, drew back, armed myself with the toilet brush and reached finally all the way in, touched the "creature of my torment" and discovered that it was hard and cold. Now, the logical part of my brain told me that it was not the dreaded creature, but just some stick that had come through the pipes, but my imagination had a worse explination, that perhaps a piece of a glacier had broken off and some how gotten into our pipes and deposited some sort of prehistoric snake-worm-thing. after deliberating for a few minutes i decided that someone would have to brave the snake-worm-thing and since both mom and dad have never been big on killing creepy crawlies it was up to me

i wiggled that thing back and forth and it sure was sturdy. finally after mintues of yanking and pulling I succeeded in pulling out the "creature" only to find that it was not a creature at all but a rusty old nail. I have no clue how the nail got in there, it hadn't been in the tank because i had investigated that thing thoroughly when we moved in. anyway, mom told me about the roots and they reminded me of that. this is a true story!! makes me wonder what else is in our water lines that we don't know about. hopefully i never come across a basilisk, that would be really scary since i do not know any pheonix's. hope that you enjoyed this. it made laugh while i was writing it.